Parents who live apart can face uphill battle in being good parents. Most often, dads are the parents separated from their children. As a result, these dads can face a huge challenge in being good co-parents.
Below are 3 steps you can take now to be a good co-parent. Each step includes basic tips that anyone can use and questions to ask about them.

1. Be thankful for what the mother of your child offers your child
2. Respect the mother of your child as a parent despite your differences and feeling about her.
3. Put past disagreements and conflicts aside and concentrate on your child.
4. Share control over your child's life and respect the mother' style of parenting.
5. Talk and negotiate with the mother about your child, such as how to help your child succeed in school.
6. Live with the differences in how to raise your child without seeing those differences as harmful. See which differences are important and unimportant so you can communicate and negotiate about the important ones.

Which of these tips will be the hardest for you to use? Why will it be the hardest one? What can you do to make it easier to use?

Men and women tend to have different parenting styles. For example, dads, on average, let their children take more risks. Moms, on average, hold their children closer and let them take fewer risks. These differences in style are good for children. But when parent have a different way to go about being parents and solving problems, it can create problems.

1. Value the need to change and listen. If you don't believe you need to change anything, you won't make the effort to listen to the need for change.
2. Value the mother. If you don't believe that she might have a valid point, you won't listen to what has to say about a change you need to make. You'll see her as nagging you.
3. Get in touch with your point of view. Ask yourself: Where did it come from? What caused it? Why do I defend it? What am I holding on to?
4. Listen to the mother's point of view. Ask her: Where does it come from? Why do you believe or value it?
5. Know that the mother's view is as important to her as yours is to you.
6. Put yourself in the mother's shoes to see things as she does.
7. Use these ground rules when you need to discuss a difficult issue with the mother:
   • No more than 15 to 30 minutes for talking.
   • Don't attack the other person.
   • No name calling.
   • Stick to the subject or difference.
   • Don't bring up the past if it has nothing to do with the difference.
   • Keep calm and end the talk if one of you becomes angry.
   • Respect each other.
8. Be willing to bargain or strike a deal with the mother. What can each of you give to the other? What is each of you willing to let go of?
9. Be ready to walk away if you or the mother becomes angry.
10. It might take more than one talk to solve the difference.

Which of these tips will be the most difficult one for you to use? Start with that one.

If you don't live with or have custody of your child, be sure to include these 12 things in a co-parenting plan.

1. Where your child will live
2. How you and the mother will help your child feel like he or she has to homes
3. How much time each of you will spend with your child and other matters with visitation
4. How you will handle holidays and other special days like birthdays.
5. How each of you will provide money to support your child.
6. How each of you will be involved in your child's school life and other activities, such as sports and music.
7. How you will handle spiritual and religious life.
8. If you must pay child support, pay it unless you can't afford it. Pay as much as you can, if you can't pay all of it. Go to a lawyer or the judge to work out a plan that you can afford.
9. Have the same rules in both homes, such as for discipline, rewards, bedtime, and meals. You will confuse your child and make it hard for you and the mother if one home is loose and other strict.
10. Don't be a "Disney Dad" and spoil your child. It's okay to do stuff with her or him that costs money, but try to do fun stuff that doesn't cost much or is free. Your child doesn't care how much money you have. Your child only cares that you love her or him. Children spell love "T-I-M-E."
11. Leave your problems at the door. The time you have with your child is too special to let the problems in your life ruin your time with him or her.
12. If you have custody of your child, send mom and email or text her once a week with an update on your child. If she has custody, ask her to do the same.

Do you and the mother of your child have a written co-parent plan? If not, do you already have some of the tips above in place that you can include in one? What other agreements should you add?

Ready to become a dad?

Here are 12 things to ask yourself before your baby arrives.

Now that you're about to become a dad, remember to take 3 Looks: Look in, Look out, and Look up.

Look in to assess who you ware and to ask yourself if you're ready for the lifelong commitment of being a dad.

Look out to see how family and culture will impact your role as a dad.

Look up to assess your values and morals to ensure that you can set the proper moral "compass" for your child.

Ask yourself the following 12 questions before you become a dad.

1. Are you ready to commit for life to the mother of your child
   Perhaps the most vital factor that will affect the relationship you will have with your child is the quality of the relationship that you have with your child's mother. Whether you are married to her or not, you will be linked to her for life because you will have a child together. But think hard about marrying her. Children with married parents are healthier, on average, than are children without married parents. your child will do best when your and the mother's goals are aligned. A good marriage will tend to align your and the mother's goals for the good of your child. Besides, marriage is good for men. Married men, on average, are healthier, have better and more sex, and live longer, fuller, and happier lives than unmarried men.
2. Do you know how important it is to be involved in your child's life?
   Children who live without their dads are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, and to have trouble in school and with their behavior and health than are children who live with both parents. They're also more likely to be abused and to go to prison. Learn about the unique role that a dad plays in his children's lives - a role that can't be replaced!
3. Do you have the drive and desire to be a good dad?
   The most vital factors in being a good dad are the drive and desire to be a good dad. It's best not to become a dad unless you want to become one with all your heart. Children need dads with the drive and desire to be a good dad.
4. Do you know how to be an involved dad?
   Your child will need you to be involved physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In other words, they will need you to "provide, nurture, and guide." Children need all three to thrive.
5. Are you prepared to provide?
   A role played by good dads is to provide for their children. Make sure that you're ready for the financial responsibility of raising a child. you should assess things like your job security, your housing, and the financial stability of your life before your baby arrives.
6. Are you prepared to nurture?
   Your will need to give your child lots of hugs and kisses. you will need to tell your child often that you love them. Studies show that "father love" is just as vital as "mother love" for children.
7. Are you prepared to guide?
   A main role of a dad is to instill proper values in his children. If you give your child bad values, you will only give them what they need to fail. But if you give your child proper values, you will give them what they need to succeed Make sure that you have solid character and the proper values. Good dads don't just tell their children how to live; they show them how to live.
8. What's your own "fathering history?"
   Men who had good relationships with their own dads tend to model the way their dads raised them. Men who have had poor or no relationships with their own dads try to do what their dads did not do for them - they "rework" the poor models they had. It's vital that you ask how your relationship with your dad will affect the kind of dad you will be.
9. Do you know that parenting is a team sport?
   You will have a teammate in parenting - the mother of your child. Make sure that you both have similar ideas about parenting. How alike are your approaches to raising a child? How will you discipline your child? Do you have the same goals for your child's education, sports, faith, etc.? you might need to look back at the way you and she were raised to see if any parenting conflicts might arise. Work out any issues before your baby arrives.
10. Do you know that children spell love "T-I-M-E?"
    Children spell love "T-I-M-E." Your child will need your presence, attention, and time. Commit the time that you will need to the job of being a good dad. Your child will measure the quality of your relationship with them by the quantity of time (how much time) that you spend with them. Figure out how you will balance work and family time so that you can spend enough time with your child.
11. Are you ready to be a role model?
    After you have a child, you must make all of your decisions with their well-being in mind. How you live your life will affect your child. Children model how their dads care for themselves. Are you ready to lead a healthy lifestyle so that you can be very involved in your child's life? Fatherhood is a lifelong commitment, so you have good reason to live a long and healthy life. Exercise and a change in diet might be in order for you. You must be alive to be a good dad!
12. Are you ready for the in-laws and the rest of "the family?"
    Don't ignore the impact that your and the mother's parents and relatives will have on your role as a dad. Both families will want to invest time and assets in your child. You will have to manage the relationships they have with your child. That might be a challenge, but these relationships will be vital to your child's well-being.

For new dads and men about to become fathers, here’s some wisdom for raising your child.

1. Strengthen Your One-on-One Game

Most dads-to-be are concerned with taking care of a crying baby and other challenges babyhood brings. You will find, though, after a few months of on-the-job training, caring for your child becomes second nature. Learn how your baby reacts to your care, and he will learn what to expect from you, like that dads are fun! After a while, nobody will be able to take better care of your child.

2. Get to Know Your New Best Friend

A baby can steal your heart with a goofy smile, so you know he’ll do his part. Your part is to spend time with your child and notice how he responds to the world and to you. Notice his efforts to explore and learn. What calms and soothes him? And how does your baby like to play? You will tune into his world, learn to be patient and eventually teach him things, like a secret handshake— yes, seriously— that only you two know.

3. Share New Experiences

While at first your baby appears to just sleep, eat, cry and stare into space, there is an amazing process underway in your child’s brain. Your baby’s daily experiences of seeing, hearing and touching everything in sight are opportunities for growth and preparation for talking, walking and winning golf tournaments. Rich experiences produce rich brains. As a dad, you will make your child’s environment very rich indeed.

4. Be a Safety Net

You will likely feel an instinctual protectiveness of your baby that makes you diligent about adjusting your tot’s car seat, removing choking hazards and baby proofing things to stay ahead of your child’s growth and mobility. As your baby’s dad, take care of yourself as well. Ditch the pre-baby bad habits and macho risk-taking (no more skydiving or race car driving), to ensure you will be around a long time.

5. Admire Your Mate

The metamorphosis of a wife into a mother will be something you appreciate as one of the most remarkable of all human experiences. Your partner’s sacrifices and intense bond with your child warrant your deep respect. But it’s easy to take your spouse for granted. The three to four tough months after your baby’s birth present a window of opportunity for fathers. Dig deep; it’s going to pay off for decades.

6. Be There for Your MVP

Stepping up in caring for your baby shows mom she can count on you. Make sure your spouse feels good about herself as a mom, and remind her of the wonderful child she has produced. Watch for signs of depression and get mom in touch with her doctor if signs appear. Try to take a little time each day to talk to your wife about something other than the baby.

7. Get Your Wife Back

Your mate’s body, time and sense of worth will get wrapped up in her baby, and your former sweetheart won’t have much energy and attention left over for you for a while. Once life settles down a bit, it’s time to help your wife find her non-mom side again. The ball is in your court at this point to be patient and take the initiative on establishing the relationship you want for the next few decades.

8. Plan Your Road Ahead

You will get through the nine month warm-up period and endurance test of the first few months. After that, you’ll find your groove and define your plan for the long term. Understand that becoming a dad is an intensely personal process filled with peaks and valleys, and it’s up to you alone to make it work. Remember to also take care of yourself, enabling you to do your job for your family.

9. Get Outside and Explore

You will learn to accept that babies are a lot of work, and caring for them may not seem like much fun at times. You will also find that a father’s role in teaching his baby to play is one of the coolest jobs on the planet. Start the fun early with mini-adventures, such as letting your baby feel and explore your face, taking a trip to the hardware store and building a crawling obstacle course. These small feats lead to bigger ones like enrolling in swimming lessons with your child to prepare your tyke for surfing.

10. Take Pride in the Job You’re Doing as a Dad

Developing a strong sense of self as a father is crucial. As you meet your baby’s needs, learn to trust your instincts. Helping your child learn new things helps you to develop an awareness of how important you are to your son or daughter. Fatherhood will challenge you, broaden you and provide you with a deep sense of self-respect. (Being dads makes us men in the finest sense of the term.)

For dads of tykes rather than newborn tots, here are cool ways to celebrate Father’s Day.

• Enjoy a minor league baseball game.
• Go miniature golfing— no need for clubs or a golf cart.
• Fire up the grill. A cookout featuring dad’s favorite foods is always reason to celebrate.
• Play Wiffle ball or get a backyard football game going.
• Plan a picnic at the park or the beach. Be sure to bring a Frisbee, football or baseball gloves and a ball.
• Take a family bike ride around the neighborhood or head for the nearest state park or trail.